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Steve Vernon's avatar

"What the hell are these purple flowers in the salad?" Frank asked.

Or rather, he whined.

In fact, everything Frank said, basically came out as some sort of a mewling complaint.

For the million-millionth time, I asked myself just what the hell had I seen in the man, that warranted marrying him.

"They are morning glory petals," I replied. "I know you like to be all environmentally whole earth at the dinner table. Morning glory are quite edible. I found this recipe in a cookbook. Just try it. They are a little peppery. You'll like it."

I sat there and watched him gulp the salad down, petals and all.

He always gulped his salad.

In fact, he hated salad, but his mother had told him that he always needed to eat a salad with his supper, so even though his hatefully domineering queen-bitch of a mother had passed away in mid-tantrum, over a decade ago, Frank still tried to follow her instructions.

I smiled while he ate.

"Aren't you going to eat your salad?" he asked.

"I will," I said. "But I always like to watch you eat."

That wasn't true, but Frank didn't argue.

He ate the salad up.

Then he went to the living room and turned on the television to whatever channel men were playing with balls on.

Shortly after he fell asleep.

He didn't wake up.

I knew he wouldn't.

The salad HAD been edible.

The almond dressing, with added cyanide, was a whole other story.

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