Happy Pride!
It’s Pride Month.
A month to celebrate being gay, bi, trans, lesbian, all of it!
I’m so happy that I live in Canada, where most of us can openly live being true to ourselves.
Of course, there are many who still have to hide in the closet for various reasons, all of which point back to Social Stigma.
There is still much work to do, but some seems to be slowly getting done.
This year, I feel like I dodged a bullet, literally, by not following my teenage dreams of living in New York City after the kids were grown.
I look at what turmoil and ridiculousness is going on over in that country, and am glad that I stayed here, where women have rights, where all of us have rights.
Of course, there are MapleMagas who want us to imitate the current horrors of what is going on with our neighbours. But hopefully most Canadians enjoy our actual freedom of sexuality, being true to ourselves, of women, of men, non-binary, along with the freedom of religion. There are exceptions, there are always exceptions, there are always those who are intolerant or somehow think it’s their business to judge who loves each other or who has sex with each other or what bathroom one might use (although all gender bathrooms are growing super common).
And for all those idiots who say, “When’s heterosexual month?” Well, duh, the other eleven months! You don’t need special months as you’ve not been murdered, tortured, or shunned because of who you love or bang. It’s taken a long time for many to have the ability to come out of the closet. However, there is still intolerance, there is still name-calling, and judgment. There is still murder.
Here in Toronto, we certainly have our share of crimes and gay bashing. What comes to mind for me today is our serial killer who looked like Santa Claus, who actually DID PLAY Santa for years at the malls and such.
For many years, random gay men would go missing in the Gay Village. Most didn’t have a lot of close family in town, might be new in town, might not know much English, might be on the down-low, so they might not be reported missing for a while. And of course, because they were gay, there was stigma anyway. But ultimately, the killer chose a man who was very connected in the community, Andrew Kinsman, and so there were searches. Extensive searches. Even I was Facebook friends with Andrew, though I didn’t really know him. I must have met him at Glad Day or Pride or the clubs or somewhere along the way. I knew Andrew was missing.
The grisly story is that Santa Claus (I refuse to use his name) was not only a character who let children sit on his lap, another one of his gigs was being a landscaper. He had a lot of wealthy clients, and he stored much of his equipment at various homes in exchange for services.
And he is a psychopath.
He would go to Church Street and hook up with men. And kill some of them.
So… the remains of some of those missing men were found in various gardens of clients he had serviced.
Disgusting and horrific. My heart goes out to the families and those who cared about the missing men.
He murdered eight men in seven years. And those are the ones we know about.
He will never get out of prison. Like Bernardo.
If you want to read more about the case, here’s a link to one of many articles. You can go down the rabbit hole and learn more about the case.
That was a dark and sad time, but it should remind us that the police fumbled the ball. There was no clear connection over the years between these men who went missing in the Village. But even I thought there was a connection when I’d see yet another flyer of a missing man. Long before Andrew went missing. Then I’d think I’m just making shit up in my head since I’m a horror writer and I often overthink.
Until that one particular man, Andrew Kinsman, disappeared.
Shortly after I began wondering if my missing Facebook friend had somehow met the fate of other random missing men over the years, other people began to speculate. And then everything was discovered.
Fingers are still pointed that the police might not have investigated any of these missing men as thoroughly as they might have for a straight white person because several were gay men of colour, some new to town, or even the country.
So as we celebrate Pride, we remember that there is still more work to be done.
Funny, as I write this, Some Like It Hot, the black and white version, just happens to be playing on the TV. I was clicking through the channels, and there it was.
I remember one of my film profs at University sharing when we watched/studied The Misfits about how the studio didn’t like Marilyn or something, and so in her later films, they would have the costume designers create super revealing and embarrassing outfits. Sometimes she’d have to be sewn into her outfits, as we know from her “Happy Birthday” moments for JFK. Marilyn had become a caricature of who she had been when she was a rising starlet, largely due to her drinking, tardiness, and unreliability. Perhaps this is one of the movies where the designers showed her no mercy because her costumes are barely hanging on. The gown she’s in now, the scene I’m watching this minute while writing this, where she’s making out with Tony Curtis, is crazy. She looks practically naked in an ill-fitting dress. Jack Lemmon looks better in his black sequin gown! Actually, the trailer I’ve linked below shows that scene, so you can go see for yourself!
I’m sure modern audiences will find much of this movie problematic and won’t appreciate the comedy or Billy Wilder’s brilliant writing. However, some of us can still enjoy this movie for what it is —a snapshot of a fantasy in time.
Billy Wilder’s dialogue is still great.
“Why would a guy want to marry a guy?” “Security!”
“What are you going to do on your honeymoon?” “Go to Paris…”
When Tony Curtis says the following line to Jack Lemmon about two men getting married, it becomes clear that times have changed since the 1950s. So some progress has been made!
“There are laws and conventions, it can’t be done!”
I wish you all a happy and safe Pride. Especially safe.
Stay alert and aware as you celebrate. Don’t leave your drinks unattended. Don’t ingest food or drugs from people you don’t know. Don’t go down dark alleys alone. Use the buddy system!
But most of all, have fun!
