Serial Vlogger: Part Fifty-Three

A horror novel in tiny slices

It seemed like forever, but at last, Marissa was called to set. She looked at herself in the mirror, barely recognizing herself with makeup that accented her pretty eyes and full lips. Her hair was a cacophony of curls and swoops, scooped up and dripping down with sparkling barrettes. She blew herself a kiss.

“It’s Show Time!” she said, mimicking Roy Schnieder playing “Bob Fosse” from All that Jazz.

She wore a beautiful white one-piece pantsuit. They gave her sparkling high heels that were hard to walk in, but she doubted she’d be doing much walking. She took one more look at herself in the mirror. Gorgeous.

“Oh, a selfie!” She almost forgot. She grabbed her cell and took a couple of shots of herself all glammed up in white in the white dressing room.

“I’m a Star!” she joked. “Superstar!” She put the phone in the dressing table drawer with her makeup bag and hairbrush.

Amy came in. She looked over Marissa.

“The belle of the ball! My oh my! They’re going to love you,” she said as she led Marissa down the hall.

Marissa had been so overwhelmed with the hair and makeup team, the costume lady sewing her into her outfit, and everyone primping on her for the past couple of hours that she hadn’t had time to really think about what she was doing. What WAS she doing? She didn’t have a clue. No script at all. At least, not yet.

The knots in her stomach returned when she click clacked down the hall with Amy who was trying to make small talk with her. Pump her up. But now, she was under glass. She caught glimpses of herself in the pristine glass reflections, who’s that girl? Why SHE’s that girl?

And then what?

Then what happens?

She was going to meet a couple of the biggest mukbang stars on YouTube. She was going to meet…

She heard the yelling before Amy opened the door.

“I won’t stand for this, I just won’t!” There was the sound of smashing plates. Amy peeped in the door.

“Marissa is here,” Amy said to whoever was on the other side of the door.

“Wonderful. Send her in,” the voice said. Marissa entered the sound stage. It was huge, way bigger than she’d ever imagined. And it was all white.

There was a huge white couch, several white chairs, a couple of large white tables, and a large white counter that was part of a faux kitchen.

In the middle of the stage was Ricky himself, smashing another white plate on the ground. He too wore a white suit, the top buttons of his shirt open. He was much taller and wider than Marissa had expected. Ricky’s hubby sat in the audience. Yes, there were many chairs for a studio audience. Maybe at least fifty people could sit in those chairs. But the only person sitting in the chairs for now was hubby and various assistants. The camera crew was measuring and setting up the cameras. The sound guys were measuring the boom and testing the mics.

Marissa gulped. It sure was Show Time!

The director, one she’d not met before, came over with a big grin. He shook her hand hard and fast.

“I’m Luigi Bianco. I’ll be directing this …session. You are going to be part of a masterpiece. An amazing conglomerate of mukbang stars! I’m very pleased to meet you, Marissa.”

“I’m pleased to meet you too, Luigi,” Marissa said.

Ricky threw another plate on the floor. “No one is listening to me!”

“The cameras aren’t on yet, Ricky. Cool your jets,” Hubby Vince said.

“Yeah, yea…I know. But goddammit, I love to smash shit.” Ricky grinned. He noticed Marissa and checked her out.

“Why hello gorgeous lady? Are you my shining star?” he purred, suddenly soft and flirtatious. Marissa blushed.

“It’s an honour to meet you, Mr. … Ricky. I’ve been watching your channel for years.”

“Oh, it’s always such a pleasure to meet a fan. But you know, honey, I’m a fan of yours too. I know you’re bright and new to the game, still a virgin really, but today, we’re all going to be on the map Big Time! This will be our big breakout!”

“Calm down, superstar. It’s still just YouTube,” Vince said.

“Just YouTube bought our houses, you twat!” Ricky said.

“You’re acting like we’re shooting Gone with the Wind.” Vince had left his seat in the audience and went over to meet Marissa.

“It’ll be Gone with the Wind in your face once I finish eating all the amazing food they’ve prepared for us,” Ricky retorted.

“You know, well, since you’ve been watching him for years, you know how temperamental Ricky can be. Whatever happens, don’t take it personally. God knows, I never do!” Vince told Marissa.

“Oh, stop spreading lies…you know I’m the most charming man in the world!” Ricky grinned.

The Assistant Director came onto the set. “Luigi…”

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Luigi turned to Marissa. “You’re the newest cast member but the truth is, this particular sort of show hasn’t been done before. You’ll do your mukbang as you always do. Eat your food, enjoy it. Your dancing buddy will twirl around a bit, and you can join him if you so desire.”

“Oh, Georges is here too?”

“Oh yes. He’s almost a signature with you now, so he’ll spin out for a brief appearance. Not like your regular shows. And I’m not going to tell you when he’s coming out so just act natural. You can be surprised, happy, angry, disgusted, it doesn’t matter. Have some fun and remember, the point is like, share and subscribe. Don’t be shy about saying THAT as many times as you like.”

Another assistant came into the room, leading in another famous mukbanger.

“Wow, I didn’t know she’d be here.” Marissa sighed. “That’s Ann-Marie. I can’t believe it’s her in real life.”

AnnaLee had a stuck up attitude from the moment she entered the room. It was way worse than on her show. She led a small dog on a leash.

“You’re not going to be able to have the dog on set, you know that, right?” Her assistant said, patiently, and likely for the tenth time.

“I want my Frufru with me. It’s too hard, otherwise.”

“We’ll take good care of Frufru. We have a pet specialist here for all the pets in their special Pet Dressing Room.”

Frufru barked loudly and proceeded to nip at Marissa’s shoes. She stepped back. “Oh, my.”

“Frufru doesn’t like you,” AnnaLee-Marie said pointedly. “I don’t either.”

Marissa was taken aback by the bluntness of it all.

AnnaLee-Marie studied the shocked look on Marissa’s face. “Oh, honey I’m just kidding. You have to get used to my sense of humour.”

AnnaLee wheezed and strained as she walked a bit further. “Where can I sit down?”

“You can take this chair if you like, for now. We have two more guests, and we have to get you all mic’d up.”

“Right, okay.” AnnaLee slowly made her way over to the chair. Marissa watched her struggle.

She’s way bigger than I thought. And there’s no way she’s under six hundred pounds.

“How do you get so large, honey?” Ricky sniped. “I’ve been trying to gain more weight so I can go on Dr. Now. You look like you’re already there.”

“Dr. Now can kiss my big fat ass,” AnnaLee said. “I’ve applied to the show many times and he never returns my calls. No one does.”

“Oh, he likely saw you on YouTube and thought, no way.” Ricky jabbed.

“Why not way? I’m way better than most of the losers on that show. And I have way more followers.”

“I guess sometimes it doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, well look at those sisters that got on that show. They applied many times and they had that YouTube channel for years. They finally got on.”

“Well, Miss Marissy, can I call you that? I like the sound of it. I’m going to call you that, Miss Marissy Blissy. Those sisters had a story. Just like I have a story. Even you have a story. You always perform with that dancing guy so it’s a story or a consistency.”

“So? I’ve been YouTubeing for almost ten years!” said AnnaLee.

“Yeah, but you have No Story! That’s the hook. The Story? Why haven’t you figured that out yet?”

“My story is the best!” AnnaLee said with a pout as she flopped onto the chair. Marissa wondered if the chair could actually hold AnnaLee’s weight. She, too, was dressed in a pretty white pantsuit, and Marissa could assume it was brand new and custom-made, as they all were, but the smells coming from AnnaLee nearly made her gag. Why did AnnaLee smell so bad?

Marissa thought about the pros and cons of mukbanging. Becoming huge, so huge that you couldn’t bathe or deal with your own personal hygiene. Between AnnaLee’s bad breath, nasty rotten teeth, and whatever odor was coming from her armpits, or was it her crotch, or was it just the rolls upon rolls that maybe she didn’t have time to wash that day…? It was all bad.

Almost as if on cue, a PA came through the set with a few lit sticks of incense.

Marissa wondered if she smelled bad too. She didn’t think so. She wasn’t even half the size of the others and never would be because she didn’t want to go that deep into the culture.

Ricky smelled like she always thought he would. Strong men’s perfume mixed with the cinnamon gum he had popped into his mouth. He’d smell nasty too once they began their mukbang. She knew for sure he would as he made it part of his stream to fart loudly, to shit himself and show it, to wipe streams of his excrement on his hubby when they did shows together.

But for now, it was AnnaLee who was smelling up the joint.

A PA took Frufru away. Marissa was glad because she already hated that thing. It didn’t stop barking, or at least it did long enough to growl and snap. It was angry and suspicious of everyone. And Marissa couldn’t blame the thing. She knew that AnnaLee lived in the States as did Ricky, so they had to fly in. The poor dog was likely in a crate for hours or days and now it was being dragged around to weird places in a weird city. But most of all, it had AnnaLee for a mom and that was the saddest part of all.

Another mukbanger entered the room. She was in a mobility scooter, and she was huge like AnnaLee. Marissa recognized her as well. Her channel was Muking for Life, and she went by Mini. Yeah, Mini indeed!

“Nice to meet you, Mini!” Marissa said as she approached the enormous, angry-looking lady on the scooter.

“Yeah, sure it is,” Mini retorted. “Fucking bunch of bullshit this is. What do we get to eat today? Better not be shit craft services garbage or I’m outa here.”

Marissa stepped back from Mini and looked over at Ricky.

“My word, sister, what crawled up your butt and died? Not only do you look like something the cat dragged in but you smell it too. Whew,” Ricky held his nose and waved. Marissa was both astonished and entertained by his rudeness. But it was true. As bad as AnnaLeeLee smelled, Mini was even worse.

“You need your diaper changed,” Ricky said to her. “Go to it, old lady.”

“You shut your mouth, young man. I know what you’re about. And you too, Missy Marisa. Think you’re all sweetness and innocent with that weird little dancer. You’re not.”

Marissa was speechless as the woman swore up and down at her. She shook her head and walked away. One thing was for sure: Mini’s YouTube persona was nothing like the woman on the scooter.

Mini pulled at the many clips holding up her hair. She had many swirls and bobs like Marissa and AnnaLee. The hairdresser had done gorgeous work on all of them.

“Fuck this old lady hair. It’s not the fifties. We’re in a whole new century. I didn’t grow my hair for fifty years only to have it all pinned up. Fuck you.” Mini pulled out her hairpins, cursing the whole time. In the distance, Marissa heard Frufru barking. AnnaLee heard it too.

“Oh, my Frufru. You have to bring him back. He’s so sad.”

“Frufru, what kind of fucking name is that?” Mini sneered. She drove her scooter in circles around the stage. “And what kind of a get up is this shit?”

Luigi emerged from the studio audience where he’d been going over notes with the crew.

“Now, now, Mini. What’s wrong with you? What’s got you all a-fluster?” Luigi spoke softly, using a twinge of southern accent to match hers.

“I’m hungry, Luigi. SO hungry. I’ve not had anything to eat in a long time.” Mini’s countenance softened as she spoke to Luigi.

“Were there not snacks in your room?”

“No snacks, Luigi, I need real food,” Mini purred.

Amazing, thought Marissa. How Mini just poured on that persona for Luigi. Her obvious tool for acquiring food or anything else she wanted in life. Just bats her eyes and oozes sugar.

No wonder Mini hated her. Marissa was naturally nice and often got giggly in her mukbangs when Georges was being especially silly. Marissa was the youngest of the mukbangers and indeed the smallest.

Or at least she was until the door opened.