The Mayor of Toronto
My View of A Canadian Sex Scandal
Well, here we go again. Another mayor going off the rails.
I came to the conclusion years ago that in order to go into politics, you need to be a narcissist and a bit corrupt. It would be rare for someone with a truly pure heart and incorruptible morals to survive in politics very long, let alone get elected to a leadership position such as prime minister, premier, or mayor.
My younger naive self always believed that good politicians would rise to the top, that there would be kind, brave souls exposing corruption and who would do what’s right for everyone no matter what party they served. Every person would have rights, an affordable home, and some kind of income. But I’ve outgrown those youthful ideals as happens to most when we’ve lived long enough.
There are certainly different rules for the elite than for the rest of us, which most of us know by now. If we didn’t notice before the pandemic, our eyes are now opened.
The Fords
Toronto got on the world map many years ago with our mayor Rob Ford who turned out to be a crack smoker on top of other manners of addictions and corruption. Rob Ford made the news around the world for his outrageous behaviour, yet, admittedly, he did hold a love for our fair city. I guess that’s why he mostly got away with all the things he did. He was outgoing and brash, but I don’t think he was an adulterer, at least, I never heard those kinds of rumblings, though he was allegedly abusive. He was our frat boy mayor.
Sadly for his family, friends, and fans, Mr. Ford died a few years ago. More sadly, his brother, Doug Ford was elected as our premier in Ontario before the pandemic and he’s proving himself to be an uncaring, double-talker, back-pocket liar. However, we’re not here to discuss the Ford brothers. But the tone was set for what we wanted our new mayor to be three terms ago. Someone who wouldn’t bring a lot of scandal to Toronto and who would get some jobs done.
Mayor John Tory
The man holding office as the 65th Toronto mayor from 2014 until a couple of days ago was John Tory. Aptly named as he’s conservative.
Back when he was running for mayor, I went to a candidates debate with all the nominees for mayor at that time, which was held at a local college. I listened to them all. I didn’t hate Tory, but I didn’t love him. I thought a couple of the other candidates might be a better fit for Toronto’s new mayor but of course, I’m not a conservative. I’m not really a Liberal or NDPer, either. I’m kind of a mosaic of all the parties, and I think a lot of people are like that. Which makes voting difficult sometimes unless you know you’re trying to NOT vote for a specific party.
Anyway, when John Tory won the election as mayor, I shrugged. Not great news, not bad news. He seemed kind of old-fashioned and stuffy with an open mind, maybe part of the Old Boys Club, maybe not as he said he had an open mind, and so I figured he’d likely be okay. Better than some who were running, for sure.
Toronto the Troubled
I didn’t love what he did while in power, nor did I hate it. He did some good things for the city; I’m happy about the increasing number of bike lanes, sidewalk cafes, and other things that the pandemic brought forth and he let continue, bringing us closer to some other world-class cities, some that have exceptional infrastructures. Although, of course, we’re kind of still in a pandemic, I think. I’m not sure anymore.
I don’t like what’s going on with the TTC (Toronto Transit such as subways, buses, and streetcars) and it’s getting worse. Before the pandemic, the TTC was a service that was sometimes unreliable. One accident on the tracks and millions of people are inconvenienced. “Take the car!” There must be better ways to move people, faster ways to get from the suburbs to downtown Toronto without all the inconvenience currently occurring. Just when things seem to be improving, because now at least we can see the location of vehicles on our phones and can get alerts, now we have an outpouring of violence on the TTC.
Directly related to mental health issues, as far as I’m concerned.
Provincial Issues Affect City Issues
Ontario is funny. We have physical health care (governed by the Province, our buddy Doug Ford) but we don’t have much in the way of mental health care unless you have money, lots of it. Even a sliding scale of services is too costly for some people when they are already struggling to pay rent and put food on the table. Yes, some people on ODSP or OW etc. can access mental health services. There are a few new programs slowly being brought in for all. Still, those who need help today, right now, must pay some amount. And even if you can pay, the wait to meet with a professional counsellor can be months. However, that’s a provincial issue and not much to do with the mayor except that the mayor has to run a functioning city for all types of people.
Affordable Housing Issues
There are record numbers of homeless people in Toronto which is likely also related to mental health. Rents are insane, like two grand for a tiny one-bedroom. Where are the high-paying jobs for these sky-high rents? Where do lower wage-earners live? Why are there not more income-based housing opportunities?
People are building tent cities out of desperation. There are more homeless every day with rising rents and low-paying jobs. The tents are being torn down by the city, after tenants are given a warning. Yes, the tents are a fire hazard and a health hazard, and there needs to be rules about no camping in city parks. I agree with that part of things. But I definitely believe these people need help and they need to go somewhere to feel human, to be human because they ARE human. They need affordable housing, jobs, mental health help, whatever it takes. And maybe there are places in the city that can be designated where some could legally set up camp outside in selected park areas for a few months while others could be housed in affordable housing.
There was some housing being built during Tory’s reign but not nearly enough. There needs to be much more affordable housing from all levels of government. Rental buildings of all kinds should be forced to have a rent cap that isn’t thousands for a shoe box. Someone needs to press the stop button.
The mayor has been cold about the homeless. He pays lip service, but there’s still so much more to do. And that’s just one issue.
So, people are snapping all over the place.
And I guess good old Mr. Tory himself snapped.
However, he snapped a while back, it seems.
What Happened?
In case you didn’t know, Mayor Tory resigned from office on Friday, February 17, 2023, because he had a two-year affair with a woman half his age who worked for him. They had mutually agreed to part ways earlier this year. This year! We’re halfway through February. Okay, bud.
Now, wrap your head around this.
A couple of years ago, here in Toronto, we were under lockdown for months at a time. We were instructed not to go anywhere except grocery shopping. Way early in the pandemic, you could get a ticket for sitting on a park bench or even being in a park…outside! Because no one knew how the virus spread yet so, there were some extreme precautions.
No hugging, no kissing, stay six feet apart, no travelling, no stopping to rest if you go for a walk, no gyms, no clubbing, no visiting sick or dying family members…
While we were told to lock the doors, flatten the curve, don’t even talk to your neighbours…we have Mr. Tory gallivanting around the world on trips with his young assistant, who also worked for City Hall.
And on whose dime?
Yes, people have had affairs forever, at work, not at work. The Kennedys had Marilyn, or so gossip says. However, she didn’t work for them; she was a friend. So, there was no real work ethic issue. Bill Clinton had Monica, and he got in deep trouble because he was the President, and she was an intern. No one ever got in trouble for being married. They got in trouble for their work ethics.
The boss really shouldn’t be having a fling with an underling these days. Especially one thirty years younger. Think of the power dynamics. It doesn’t matter who started it, the married Mayor, who had everything to lose, should have stopped it.
But he did not.
So that is why Mr. Tory resigned. The work ethic.
And I hope the ethics committee takes a good look at all of it.
Having an affair is bad enough, but a boss/assistant liaison during a pandemic when you’re telling everyone else to be in isolation?
That’s what really grinds my gears!
Like Boris and his parties.
Out with the Old
The kids these days aren’t having it. They are calling these people out, and good for them. Thank goodness for reporters and others who blow the whistle on corruption. In the old days, there just would have been whispers and gossip.
Reporters blew the whistle on Tory, and he had to confess and resign. His golden boy vanilla boring-but-gets-shit-done image now has a big old smear.
He’s just a cheating bastard like so many others.
Was that young woman his first dalliance?
When did his wife find out?
Why did they stop? Why was it a “mutual agreement”?
Ah, so many questions and none of them matter.
In his resignation speech, Tory requested that no one bother the privacy of his wife, his mistress, and himself. Well, gosh, isn’t that peachy!
Scandals in Politics
What I’m finding interesting in this scandal of 2023 is that though curiosity is high about who the hell would screw John Tory, there isn’t a lot of smack talk. There are very few articles about who the young lady is and what she does. Her name has been revealed even though the internet is continuously being scrubbed about her from what I can gather. She left City Hall long before the scandal broke and went to work for a company that Tory’s family has a 37% interest in. I find that interesting, of course. I guess they realized at some point over the two years that their dalliance was inappropriate. I’ve read claims that she got the job on her own, but I have raised eyebrows, as I’m sure some of you do too.
I do find it interesting, although the scandal is still rather new, that I’ve not seen articles about her being a home wrecker or that Tory’s wife is anything less than. That pleases me.
Too often in these scandals, the mistress and/or wife, the women, are blamed. Think about the Kennedys. It was all Marilyn’s fault! In the Clinton scandal, one round of denigration is that Hillary is a lesbian, so therefore Bill had to look elsewhere for fun, with one of those fun times being with young, intern Monica Lewinsky. It was Monica’s fault! It was Hillary’s fault!
Decades later, Monica still gets scorn even though she was the innocent to a powerful man’s lust. And Hillary is still pointed at for making Bill do it. One of the reasons I heard ballied around that she lost her bid for President was because “she couldn’t keep her man in line.”
What about President Roosevelt? It’s not him pointed at but whispers about his wife being a lesbian therefore he had to look elsewhere. King Charles screwed around with Camilla behind Diana’s back, yet Diana was accused of not being a proper princess, and Camilla was lambasted as a homewrecker when it was King Charles who is entirely to blame. People like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein took decades to be exposed because everyone knew the women would be blamed, not the powerful men who took advantage.
Mistresses and Lovers
For centuries, powerful and not powerful people had mistresses and lovers. People married for reasons other than love and sex. However, over the last 100 years or so, when people marry, they expect the partner to be faithful unless there’s some kind of arrangement that both would agree to, as far as I understand it.
Of course, I’m making blanket statements, and there are tons of exceptions. I’m just giving my observations from where I stand and what I’ve learned over the years.
So here in Toronto, in our mayor scandal, I’m happy to see that most fingers in articles and tweets point right at Mr. Tory.
Mr. Tory is the one who broke his marriage vows. And Mr. Tory is the one to blame.
Sure, people have affairs all the time. When one has an affair or two or more, whether a multi-year one or a one-night stand, facets of character are revealed. Revelations can include drugs and alcohol and a misguided moment. Revelations can also reveal years of gaslighting, each little lie weaving into a bigger lie. And when one gets comfortable lying about one area of their life, isn’t it easier to bring those lies into other areas?
If one can deceive the person they swore to love and cherish, the one they had been partnered with for over forty years, that they publicly flaunt their longevity of love, then what about people who haven’t been entrenched for forty years? If a person can lie to their partner’s face that they have a business trip or need to stay at the office late, then surely, it gets easier to lie about just about anything else in life.
And if one is a liar and a cheater, you can see and hear with your own eyes and ears as they publicly admit it, do you want that person running your city?
It’s not a matter of, oh, he just wanted some extracurricular sex.
No, it wasn’t a one night of too drunk and too crazy, and things got out of hand.
It was a two-year affair that began when the woman was 29 years old, and the mayor was 66. Two years of lying to the wife, family, and city. Two years of enjoying his dominance and secrets over at least two women; his wife and his staff member, not to mention all the surrounding staff who may have had inklings of what was going on but had to keep quiet so they didn’t lose THEIR jobs. A man who told us all to stay inside or stay six feet apart if we socialized with anyone at all. A man who we all trusted and now has admitted he’s a liar.
Gaslighters Are Everywhere
I have to admit I was super disappointed in him for being exposed as a cheater. I had grown to kind of like him and thought he had good morals, if nothing else.
But that will teach me, again, that you can’t trust anyone, and no one is who they seem. The mask always slips eventually.
I don’t know who all will be running for the now empty mayor seat. The process is just beginning. Some people are clamouring for The Devil We Know, John Tory.
At least he had the class to step down without making excuses. He took his punishment, though I’m sure he’s just sorry he got caught, and not sorry he spent two years feeling young and desirable again with the adrenaline rush of sneaking around.
Just remember, in case you didn’t realize it even after reading all of this:
There are different rules for different classes. Toronto, now you know where you stand with regard to someone who claimed to have loved you.
Pick Mayor 66 carefully…